Disclaimer: Jonny Quest and the Quest Team are the property of HB, WB, etc. (but J.J. is MINE - hands off!) They have been used without permission, I'm not making any money, please don't sue, etc., etc. Archivers: Feel free - just let me know where you put it and leave this intro on it, okay? Categories: V, A, F **WARNING** The angst abounds... Summary: Benton struggles to come to terms with a devestating loss... ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** The sense of loss that filled the room was almost palpable. The mourners were gone and the family was left to say their goodbyes. Benton sat in a daze, trying to comprehend the magnitude of what had happened. *How can she be gone?* She was young and full of life, and it seemed as though the bad things in life never touched her.... Until now. It was just incomprehensbile to him that he would never again see her smile or the bright flash of her hair in the sun. Never again challenge that sharp mind or feel her quickflash temper. Never again receive those quick hugs or tender kisses "just because"... If it had been a drunk driver or an assassin that claimed her life he could have found a focus for the pain, an outlet for the incredible anger that welled up and threatened to overwhelm him. But it wasn't. *Cancer.* It had been a rare form of lymphoma, for which there was no cure. After the ravages and wasting away caused by this horrible illness, death was almost welcomed. Almost. A surge of anger flared through him. How could he seek revenge from a *disease*?! Why did this happen? What sort of God would let a family suffer like this? Why was *she* taken away? *Why not *me*???* *How could this happen???* *How could she have left us behind-- Benton sighed heavily and sank back into his chair, all of the anger draining away and slowly being replaced by a hollow, echoing emptiness in his heart. He distractedly observed the small boy playing on the rug, seemingly oblivious to the grief that surrounded him. Benton closed his eyes in pain. *No child should grow up without a mother.* Benton's eyes misted over as he thought of the years ahead. Who would sing him to sleep at night? Who would fight off the monsters that haunted his dreams? Who would soothe the myriad scrapes and bruises of youth with kisses and puffs of breath? Who would cheer for him at the little league games? Who would make cookies for the annual bake sale? Who would teach him to drive? Who would take thousands of pictures of him, dressed for the prom? Who would cry at his graduations? Who would dance with him at his wedding? Who would tell his children funny stories of their father's youth? A tiny tear escaped his eye. *Who will take care of Jonny?* Benton's gaze strayed to the tall, handsome man who stood motionless by the casket - bent and broken by grief. *What will he do without his wife?* As Benton watched, Jonny's shoulders began to shake with silent sobs. J.J., as if sensing his father's pain, stopped his play and quietly toddled over to hug his leg. Jonny picked up the boy, buried his face in the child's hair, and continued to tremble. Soon, Race moved from his spot by the window and approached Jonny. Slowly, and with tears glistening in his eyes, he pulled the young man into a fierce hug. Jonny remained stoic. Then, Hadji left his seat, and threw his arms around his brother, weeping for his loss. Still, Jonny stuggled to hold in the overpowering emotions. Benton suddenly noticed he was alone. He rose from his chair and tearfully added himself to the embrace. Finally, Jonny's resolve crumbled, and he relaxed into his father's arms and sobbed as if his heart would break. As the five men huddled together in their mutual grief, Jonny repeatedly cried out what they were all thinking... "What will we do without Jessie????" END ******************************************************************** *sob* Damn. This is just way too sad! I sure hope I've gotten all of this angsty stuff out of my system so I can get back to the HR! Let me know what you think. Did you love it? Hate it? Want to flame me to death for killing off Jessie, but leaving Jonny intact? Well, you can e-mail me at . Oh, and BTW, in case you didn't guess, "J.J." stands for "Jonny, Jr."! Any and all feedback would be appreciated! -- Suze (c) Susan Howe 1997