Disclaimer: ain't gettin' payed.  don't own em'.

Archivers; It's all yours! (I don't know what catagory this would go 
under.  Maybe humor)


WARNING: Extremely wierd.  Read with caution.


Authors note: Race and Benton are brothers.  That makes Jonny 
and 
Jessie cousins.

                        Hillbilly Quest
                        

                        By: Lauren Kirk "The Hun"
                        Dedicated to Jael 


Jonny woke up to the sound of a rooster crowing outside his window. 
 
"What in the Sam hill!!!!  I slept in!  Pa's gonna be madder than a 
castrated bull if he finds out that I forgot to milk Miss Besy.".  Jonny 
threw on some of his overalls and ran downstairs and shot out the 
front 
door like a Jack rabbit with a dog on it's tail.  

When Jonny got to the barn and slid open the large doors he saw 
Jessie squatted down milking one of the cows.  Jessie turned to look 
at 
 The half dressed boy standing in the door.  "Well it's 'bout time you 
got 
up!  Don't just stand there with the door open!  Were ya' raised in a 
barn?!?" Jessie asked.

"You know I wasn't born in no barn, Jess!  Your just flurtin', arent 
ya'?" 
 Jonny asked.  Jonny walked over to to Mis Besy and started to milk 
her. " Yur lookin' purty taday.  It's your hair, aint it?".

"Yup!  Pa said I had ta waorsh it this week," Jessie answered.  

"Where is ol' Race?"

Jessie got up from the floor and picked up the bucket of milk and 
walked toward Jonny.  "I think he went ta town to get some supplies 
for our weddin'.  I can't wait! Just think!  I'll be Mrs. Jessie Quest!"

"Yup, I can't wait to!  I wonder how many of our relatives will come?" 
Jonny asked.

"Well cuzin' Hadj hasn't been on speekin' turms with both Race and 
Pa ever since they got married."  Jonny said while rubbing his chin.

"Last time I talked with cuzin' Hadj, he said it was kinda' strange that 
us two get married considerin were cuzins."

"Well, there diffurnt over there in Indiana.  Sumthin' about marri'n 
_out 
side_ of the family." Jonny explained to Jess.

"They sure got sum fuuuuny customs in Indiana!  Lets go inside the 
house and see what Benton is doin'," Jessie said while taking 
Jonny's 
hand.  

When the two teenagers went inside the house they saw Benton 
bent 
over, pants half way down his crack, working on the TV.  "Need any 
help, Pa?" Jonny asked.

Benton turned to look at the couple standing in the doorway holding 
hands.  "Aint that cute!  You two are holdin' hands!"

"Aaaww Pa!  Now I'm blushin'!  Need any help with the TV?" Jonny 
asked.

"I didn't make it all the way through the sixth grade fer nuthin'!  I cun 
do 
it," Benton said.  Benton took a few steps back from the TV and 
slammed his fist on the side of the TV.  The screen went from static 
to 
a fuzy picture.  "Told ya kids I could do it!"  Just then a car pulled up 
to 
the house.  All three of them went outside to see who it was.

"Hey!  It's Race!" Jonny yelled.  Race got out of a beat-up old 
pickup 
and smiled at all three of them.

(Author's Note: That last Hi there was directed towards Benton.)

"Hi Jonny!  Hi Jessie!  Hi there darlin'!" Race said.  

"Did ya' talk ta Julia?  Is her husband and her comin' to the 
weddin'?" 
Benton asked.  

"I talked with her all right," Race said.  "She and her husband 'Old 
Man Surd' can't come to the weddin'.  She said they had to pick up 
an 
icecream truck that they bought.  They are gonna go get it the same 
day of the weddin'.  Did anyone RSVP?"

"Yup!  Mr. Zin and his two daughters are comin'.  And Rage said he 
couldn't come.  Sumthin' 'bout he was being a councilar at a bible 
study group that day.  And that is about it!"  Benton said.


                        THE END


Sooooo what do you guys/girls think?  

                        Lauren Kirk "The Hun"

(c) Lauren Kirk 1997